Day 6 and 7.....the dream.....is just a dream....

Now I know why people get addicted to drugs like painkillers....when you're on them, top of the world, lots of confidence, it don't hurt.........when you're off them, ooh-la-la.....you quickly remember what happened.
So, I raced yesterday....I pushed as hard as I could (which was just as well as a push when I am healthy) and I got a PB (personal best) on this track. I was definately happy about that and to make my hopes even more divine, I qualified for a second run....unbelievable!!
The athletes here are really World Cup status athletes....they are performing so well....I truly believe that skeleton, at this level, has reached its full potential. The top 10 sliders could have easily competed in the World Cup tour this year, in fact 4 of the top 8 sliders yesterday were sent down from the world cup tour cause only 12 of 16 nations on world cup qualify, the other 4 qualify via Challenge Cup.
As happy as I was though, each run cost me more damage. My runs were clean, kreisel was a walk in the park, but each minute of each run lying on my chest was simply brutal!! I could not lift my sled to the start line, thanks to Chris Hedquist who took care of that, and at the end of my runs, could not lift my sled out of the track nor onto the truck that takes us back up, thanks to my fellow athletes who helped me out there too. My head dragged through most of the curves simply cause my back and neck are a bit mangled also. In the end of it all, I finished 25th, last of the second heat but not last overall.....would I do it again....just to know if there was a chance??.....damn straight!!
You know you are hurting when you feel the pain through the painkillers. After the race, I believe I put my chest into spasm....I could not stand straight, could not lift an arm, and would have unexpected pain or spasm where I would let out involuntary grunts and people would look at me funny. So even though I took another pill after the race and before bed....sleep was a long way off....along comes today......
Today, after doing the math again, I realized that I have nobody to impress....I would be sliding just to slide recreationally and considering how I felt yesterday after the race and how I feel now, I decided to pack my bags...which on its own was a painful feat to zip up my sled bag....that truly confirmed that I made the right decision.
Even if my chances were slim to none, I would have slid, but the fact of the matter is, even if I finished 1st in both heats, the next top 8 sliders would have to crash, get disqualified, not show up, not get a second run, etc....so do the math.
It pains me...in more ways than one of course, and the hurt continues.....this morning the 4 man Greek bobsled team failed to qualify also, so there goes my 'alternate' ticket to the Games....alas, there will be no Olympic rings tattoo-ed on this body.
I know I am a sucker of 'fate' and with the 'nature of sport', you never know what could happen, and of course, I have seen stranger things happen but, this time, not even science or physics could figure out a formula of 'chance' for me.
I will now wait to see the results of the race today...so far, everything has been going to prediction......off to the track I go.....sledless....but proud!!